It’s been a tough few weeks

So I’ve been pretty absent recently, as you may or may not of noticed. The truth is, I had a couple of bad weeks, followed by a couple of good weeks, but I had lost all motivation to write about it, until now. I’ll start with the bad weeks first (but I’m not going to go into it too deeply, that’s not what I want this blog to be about), not only did I fall off of the slimming world wagon, I ended up tumbling all the way back to the bottom of the hill. It was bad friends, really bad. My scales were telling me that I had put on everything I had lost since I moved here in November. I couldn’t believe it. I refused to believe it. I thought my scales were broken, and almost threw them out. I thought ‘I haven’t cheated that much, not really. This is bullshit’ but looking back at it more closely, I could see that I had in fact cheated that much. And then some. I went back to all my old habits. Terrible habits that I have tried so hard to break. I was buying snacks during the day, and hiding the fact from Gilbert. And they weren’t little snacks either. Family size packs. Weeks worth of ‘treats’. Except they weren’t treats. Treats make you feel good, and I just felt awful.

I know I’m an emotional eater, and I’ll admit I do tend to binge when I’m sad or stressed. But even though I’m aware of these habits, it’s hard to break the cycle, especially when you’re doing it solo. And the truth is, I was pretty depressed for a while there. I was incredibly homesick, and bored, and lonely. And all these things led me to turn back to food, the way I used to. Things got so bad that for a while I was considering if I should move back home. I talked everything through with Gilbert, cried a lot, (and I mean buckets!) we talked about what it would mean for us, as he so desperately wants to stay here. Would we break up? Separate? Or just be one of those couples who live apart? I looked for jobs and flats back home, and worked out how much I’d need to save up to get myself a car. Realised I’d need to work 2 jobs, and 16 hours a day to support myself (seriously, UK govt, sort it out) and I decided to wait it out, and stay for at least a year. Which was the original plan all along.

And then something happened. I can’t explain it, I’m weird that way. But I woke up, and I felt a bit better. More positive. Not quite as lonely, and I was determined to get back on track with slimming world. That was 3 weeks ago, and so far, it’s going well. I still don’t trust my scales completely, but I think I’ve lost everything I had put on, plus another 5lbs or so. I’ve been going to the gym 6 days a week, and even though I’m just starting small (because I had to take lots of time off with a toe problem, but that’s all sorted now) it feels good. Good in the sense that my lungs are on fire, and I want to give up, every minute of the work out. But still good. The first week, I was only able to run for 1 minute, followed by walking for 3. I’m now half way through my third week, where I can now run for 1 minute, walk for 1 minute and repeat for 20 minutes. Now that might seem like nothing to a lot of people, but considering I didn’t go to a single PE lesson in my last 2 years of school, and I was never sporty as a kid, and, oh yeah, I’m incredibly unfit. That’s a real achievement! I worked out, that by the time I get back to the UK, for my sisters wedding, I should be able to run for 15 minutes straight. And that’s just mind boggling for me!

It’s true that regular exercise can help with the effects of depression, cus even though it hurts, and my legs are a wobbly, jelly like mess after each day, I still look forward to going back the next day. Summer is here, and I think that’s helping my mood as well, I’m actually writing this blog post in the park, while working on my tan!

So that’s everything, I’m all caught up for now, I’m sorry it wasn’t a happier topic this time, and I’m sorry if it’s made you cry (mum) but I’m doing OK, I promise. And just wait until you see the results in 7 weeks!

Much love
Xx

Easter!

Happy Easter everybody! I hope you’ve all had a lovely long bank holiday weekend, I certainly have. We spent yesterday walking around Montreal through all the lovely parks, getting in to the spirit of spring. We watched people playing football, baseball, rugby and volleyball because all the snow has melted now, people are starting to venture outside and be active again.

I enjoyed a mini Lindor bunny for only 3 syns, and I portioned up my larger one  into groups of 6 syns.
Last week I had a loss of -2lb so I was super happy with that, and this week I maintained. Not quite as happy with that, but at least it hadn’t gone up. I’ve also created a new instagram account specifically for slimming world, partially food extra motivation, and partially so people don’t get fed up of my food photos being constantly posted on my main account. If you’re interested, my IG name is emilie.dawson_sw
We went out tonight to Poutineville with some friends, and while it was impossible to work out the syns value for all that tasty food, I was still determined to stay as on plan as possible. I had mozzarella with mine, so I counted 50g of it as my HEXA for the day, and I kept the rest of the meal packed full of vegetables, that way I only needed to syn the potatoes, because no doubt they were fried in oil, the gravy and the surplus cheese. I’d had no syns so far. So all in all, I’d say that’s a pretty successful day!

You might think ‘why not just go off plan for one meal, and really enjoy it’ I used to have that mindset myself, and it’s taken me a long time to change my way of thinking, but I’ve learnt to think of it like this: I’m going out for dinner, specifically to spend time with friends, not to eat, it’s the company and conversation that’s important, not the extra onion rings on the side. Besides, if you take a day off plan, every time an occasion calls for it, chances are, you’ll never reach target. There’s always going to be things that get in the way, Christmases, Easter’s, Birthday’s. There are 52 Fridays in every year, and another 52 Saturdays. So tell me this: if not now, then when?
I’ve got some lovely seasonal recipes planned in the next few weeks, now the sun has started to shine a little more often, so keep an eye out for those coming soon.
That’s all for today, enjoy your short week, and good luck on the scales!
Emilie x

Weigh-in Day, and what happens when it’s not what you hoped for

It’s officially weigh in day, the day we’ve all come to love and loath in equal measures.
So I stepped on the scales this morning in my underwear like I always do, and guess what that little needle told me? It told me that for the second week in a row, I’ve maintained. I mean come on! Seriously? That feels incredibly unfair. I’ve stuck to plan pretty religiously, I’ve had plenty of water, and plenty of speed foods so I can’t understand what’s going on.
And then I started thinking that maybe it’s the exercise, because I’ve taken it up a notch with my running recently, and I’ve also started to incorporate some yoga into my routine, along with the usual Zumba and other classes I take, and maybe that’s why it’s slowed down. So I thought I’d check my measurements, which I took at the beginning of February, and (remembering I had 2 weeks off plan between then and now) I can proudly say I’ve lost 1 inch off my arms, and 1.5 inch off my thighs. *can I get a hell yeah* Everything else is currently the same, but I’m totally counting that as a win!

I’m hoping the weight starts shifting again soon, but at least I know I’m looking a little smaller, even if the scales don’t agree.

Which brings me to this question for you. What do you do when stepping on the scales doesn’t fill you with glee? If you’ve gone up, or stayed the same? Or even if you’ve lost, but not as much as you were hoping? How do you cope with that disappointment? These days I get over it by taking a look at the success stories on the website, and in the magazine. I’ll go shopping for the ingredients for a new recipe to try. And I’ll do some hardcore stalking on the slimmingworld hashtags on Instagram. The first *couple of* times I joined slimming world though, I’d pretty much just give up. I’d leave group and go buy a takeaway and chocolate and I’d stuff my face. I would then be confused and angry why the scales didn’t show a loss the following week. It was a vicious cycle until eventually I’d just stop going. I never even received my 1 stone certificate. Back then I wasn’t in the right mind frame for losing weight, and especially not for keeping it off. And I think that’s the most important part of it. You can have all the tools and know how you need, but if you’re not ready it simply won’t be enough, it won’t work.

I’m not sure why this time is so different, maybe because I’m a little bit older, maybe I have better friends this time to support me. Or maybe its because I know this time that my reasons are less ‘so I can fit in with society’ and more ‘so I can just be healthy, and happy’. Either way, when I walked into Lisa’s group back in May, I knew that this time it would work, and it would also be permanent. Sure it’s slowed down this side of the Atlantic, but it’s not going backwards, I’m still motivated, and I’m still going strong.

Good luck to everyone else weighing in today
Xx

Homemade Slimming World Poutine

Poutine! The classic Canadian dish that puts a smile on everyone’s face. It’s known for curing hangovers, warming your cockles in mid-winter, being the perfect comfort food and just generally being one of the best things you can do with potatoes, next to vodka and lamps. It was also the meal my dad liked most while they were visiting, so much so, we went to Poutineville twice in 10 days.

The popular opinion is Poutine was invented in rural Quebec sometime in the late 1950’s, and the basis of this delicious meal is: chips, cheese and gravy. Now, if you’re anything like me, it doesn’t particularly sound appetizing, and I did put off trying it for quite a while. But, boy was I so very wrong.

Like most comfort foods Poutine is traditionally very heavy in syns, even if you make it at home, the sauces you can buy are all around 12 syns.

However I’ve adapted it the best I can to make it slimming world friendly (0.5 syns, or 6.5 if not using cheese as your HEXA) – It tasted pretty good too. So here we go, slimming world poutine for 2:

What you’ll need:

▪ 500g of fluffy floury potatoes
▪ a 900ml carton of beef broth, or stock made from cubes
▪ 1 tbsp mustard powder
▪ 1 tbsp cornflour
▪ 1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
▪ 1 tsp red wine vinegar
▪ 6 babybell lights, quatered -or swap for any cheese you prefer

What to do:

▪ Preheat your oven to 200°C/395°f
▪ Wash and slice your potatoes into  chips/fries. You can peel them if you want to, but I always prefer skin on and par-boil for 10/15 minutes in beef broth.
(The reason for the beef broth is because the chips used to be fried in beef dripping, cooled down, and then fried again, so this is to make sure no flavour is lost)

▪ After par-boiling drain the chips, making sure you save 500ml of the broth in a bowl, because this will be the base of our gravy later. Lay out the chips on a tray, and spray with fry light and cook for about 30 minutes, shaking every now and again.

▪ While the chips are in the oven bring the broth back to a simmer. Add 1 tbsp mustard powder, 1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce and 1 tsp red wine vinegar. After a few minutes measure 1 tbsp cornflour (0.5 syns) into a bowl and mix into a paste with a splash of water, add this to the gravy and stir continuously while it thickens.

▪ Take the chips out of the oven and transfer into a deep sided dish, spoon over the gravy and add your Babybell’s then put back into the oven for 10 minutes

 

And voila! Home made Poutine

Now this is just the basic Poutine, the original and classic. You can add anything you want to this. Let your imagination go wild. I topped ours with the slimming world fried chicken from the Fake-away’s book on page 62 for another 1.5 syns, and it was delicious.

Obviously to make this a true food optimising experience you need to add some vegetable goodness to the dish. I opted for a huge fruit salad for pudding, because Gilbert is fussy with his veg. But you can do anything. You can make a red onion gravy instead, or add loads of stir fried veg on top. You can swap the potatoes for butternut squash and carrot chips (I’m totally doing that next time!) The possibilities are endless.

So there you have it. Bon appetite x

And I’m back!

And I’m back! The countdown to July is on.

Yes that’s right, I’ve been a little quiet on the blog front recently, while my parents have been in town. You should see the goodies they brought me!

I’m sad to see them go, because it’s been a thoroughly enjoyable 10 days. But I think my scales are a little relieved that they’ve gone. We have been absolutely gluttonous you see, 2 meals out a day, for 10 days really takes its toll. I don’t regret any of it, it was their first time here, and when it’s so cold spending a few hours in bars and restaurants is a good way to spend you’re time!

*skip this paragraph If you don’t want to feel a) extremely jealous, b) extremely ill – We’ve had…. Thai, chocolate based brunches (plural), burgers, Mac & cheese, 1 with bacon, 1 with lobster, fish and chips in a maple syrup batter, maple taffy, of course – poutine, and a salted caramel chocolate milkshake that is possibly illegal, it tastes so good. Not to mention so much beer I’m possibly officially a binge drinker these days.
I’m salivating just by the thought of it.

However, eating and drinking wasn’t all we got up to. I showed my parents the local sights, we checked out the shopping centres and supermarkets. My dad wanted to visit a tool store he’d looked up online. We saw the Olympic Park, watched some ice skating. I went to my first ever hockey game! Go Habs go! And we took a ride to a sugar shack. All in all, we clocked up 156,000 steps and over 68 miles in these 10 days.

Did that do enough to balanced out my eating habits? Hell no! I weighed myself last Monday, after they’d only been here for 4 days, and the damage was 3lb on. More than I wanted, but I decided to just ‘carry on going with the flow, I’ll turn it around when they’ve gone.’ And I weighed myself this morning, and the official damage is….. drum roll please….. 1lb off. 1lb off?!?!?! I have no idea how that happened. I am baffled! Shocked! Stunned into silence! And truly chuffed!

They’ve left now, I put them in the taxi, came back up to the apartment and packed my bag for the gym. Butternut squash is in the oven roasting, ready for soup, and the health and fitness page of pinterest has been loaded. I have 17 weeks until I fly back to the UK. Realistically, I can lose anything from 8.5lb if I drop 0.5 a week, to 2 stone 6lb (34lbs) If I lose 2lb a week – Almost doubling my total loss. Both of which is healthy and doable. I’m looking forward to seeing, not only my parents, but all my family and friends, hopefully looking a lot smaller, and healthier. I’m not alone either. My dad has said they’ll be living off spinach for a while. Next time they visit, we’ll be averaging 12 miles  a day, instead of 7.

So anyway, I’m back. And I expect you’ll be hearing a lot more from me over the next 17 weeks.

Sorry about that 😊

A Traditional Montreal Winter

Hi everyone!

So this week, we saw temperatures here in Montreal drop to lows of -40`C. It was brutal! The advice from everyone is to not go out unless it’s absolutely necessary, and not to stay out too long.

So what did we do? We went out. However, we weren’t doing anything practical like shopping and stocking up of healthy free foods. No, we went to the Cinema. Where I thoroughly enjoyed chocolate covered pretzels, followed by dinner out, and I prepared for the horrifying walk home by having a ‘Mac and Cheese Grilled Cheese’ served with sweet potatoes fries which I estimated to be ten thousand Syns, give or take. But my word, it was delicious! As you can tell, I didn’t stick to plan over the weekend. And it showed on the scales on Monday morning. I stayed the same. Which I’m okay with, it wasn’t a surprise, I wasn’t sat at home wondering where I’d gone wrong. I knew where I had gone wrong, and I’d do it again I tells ya.

One of the many many things I like about Slimming World, is that it’s adaptable to real life. In real life, there are going to be days, or events where you cannot, or simply don’t want to eat healthily. And that’s fine, and Slimming World teaches you how to deal with those situations. So I didn’t lose any weight this week. I had a lovely day out, for Valentines, with my husband. I enjoyed some old fashioned comfort food, and a nice cold beer, and the day afterwards, I was straight back on that treadmill, with my beans on toast for breakfast. Its no big deal.

The point is, you shouldn’t beat yourself up about enjoying life, and not seeing results on the scales. Stick with it, and it’ll come off eventually. It doesn’t have to be a race. By giving yourself the right balance, you’re more likely to not only lose the weight, but to keep it off long term. After all, how many people have tried fad diets, and the second they’ve finished/given up, having all the weight creep back on? I know I have. I also know it won’t this time.

Good luck for the coming week and be kind to youself

Au revoir  x

Pancake day! Recipe for SW pancakes

Happy Pancake Day everybody!

I’ve had my gym membership through, and I’ve just got home from my second session. I’m exhausted, red faced, and so very very sweaty. I can tell I’ll be sore tomorrow. But bloody hell I feel good! It’s amazing how much I’ve missed the treadmill. I’ll be signing up to some classes as well, once I’m back into the swing of things, I’m looking forward to trying a Crossfit class, which everyone seems to be raving about recently. Well, raving through the tears, because its supposed to be so hard!

So it’s Tuesday, which means it was weigh in day yesterday, and I’m pleased to report that I have officially lost *drum roll please* 2 lbs. Which brings my total loss to 2 stone 10.5 lbs (38.5 lbs) I’m feeling pretty good about myself, and if I can lose the same again next week, then I’ll be totally ok with whatever gains I happen to have while my parents are here. (9 days! Woop Woop!)

In case you haven’t heard, today was Pancake Day. Or Shrove Tuesday. Or, Fat Tuesday, which is apparently what its called over here. And not wanting to miss out, I’ve found a recipe for slimming world pancakes. My good friend Georgina made a chocolate version of these a while back, which gave me the idea. So here we go:

Slimming World Pancakes – 4+ syns (the + is for additional toppings)

You will need:

• Fry-Light (I like the butter flavoured one for this, but anything goes)
• 1 ripe banana
• 2 eggs

For the toppings:

• Anything you want! – fruit, fat free yoghurts, lemon/cinnamon and sweetener are all free. OR:
• If you wanted chocolate, or syrup, etc, a teaspoon goes a long way, and just count the syns.

Step 1: Mash up the banana, beat the eggs and mix together. Add in a bit of sweetener if you wish.

Step 2: Spray pan with Fry-Light, pour in some of the mixture. (The mix should make about 3 medium pancakes) and leave on a moderate heat. Flip after 25-30 seconds.

Step 3: Repeat until you have used up all your mixture and serve with your choice of toppings

It’s as easy as that!

Bon Appetit x

Reasons

I’ve been thinking recently about why people choose to lose weight, and although the reasons are different and personal for everyone, I feel like there is an immense pressure put on us by advertising campaigns and social media to be a certain size, or to look a certain way, and if you don’t fit these cookie cutter mould’s then you’re valued as ‘not good enough’. People have been conditioned for so long to automatically think of ‘fat’ as ugly. The two seem so linked together and I find that ridiculous. Fat is simply a word to describe the size of something, or someone. The same way Green is a word to describe grass. It should not be an insult. When I say to my husband ‘Oh I’m fat’, his first instinct is to tell me to stop being silly, I’m beautiful. But why can that not be the same thing? Fat can be beautiful, (I think Tess Holliday is Hot as F*ck) thin can be beautiful, (likewise, Keira Knightly) beauty should not be based on the size of someones jeans.

I am absolutely all for losing weight If YOU want to, I am trying to lose weight myself. But its taken me a long time to realise why it’s important to me. It used to be ‘so I can feel pretty’. And it never worked. I wasn’t in the right mind set to lose weight let alone keep it off. These days, I have many reasons for wanting to shed the stones, but not a single one of those reasons is so I can be beautiful. I have news for you, I’m already beautiful, my husband tells me every day. At least one person tells me every time I upload a picture on Instagram or Facebook. I have (on a rare occasion) thought it about myself when I’m doing my make up. And no one tells me its despite my size.

It’s all very well and good saying these things, but it’s much harder for me to walk the walk. I don’t mind how I look, I don’t think its too big headed to think I’m a little bit pretty? Or at the very least, not bad looking. But I’m still teaching myself to have more confidence. Because the ‘fat=ugly’ sentiment is so ingrained in our culture I have spent a very long time not liking myself. And those thoughts and feelings don’t go away overnight. Its a work in progress. I still find myself panicking when I have to walk into a room full of people, wondering what they’re thinking, if they’re judging me. I pray to a god I don’t believe in for someone there to be bigger than I am. I’m scared to try things I’ve always wanted to do, because of the reaction I might get from strangers who I’ll never see again. I am learning to say f*ck it, but it takes time. Like I said, work in progress.

The reasons I want to lose weight is so I can fall pregnant and not go through complications, its so I can play with my future children instead of being on the sidelines. I want to lose weight so I find exercise easier, and more enjoyable, and to increase my confidence to try new activities that my weight currently prohibits. I don’t want to develop diabetes in later life. And yeah, I won’t lie to you, It would be nice to go shopping, and try on clothes, and not just buy online. Instead of just looking at the accessories.

So that’s me for today.

Emilie – Fat, but beautiful. And when I’m slimmer, I’ll still be beautiful. Just better dressed  😉

A new day, A new dawn

Today feels like a good day for my first blog post. It’s a Monday. Its also February 1st. It feels like a brand new extra fresh start.

So, starting statistics: I currently weigh 17st 13lb (251lb) I lost 1 lb this week, which pushes me into a new stone bracket. This is actually very big news because I haven’t seen this weight bracket since before I got married. It also makes my total loss since I started this Journey back in May 2st, 8.5lb (36.5lb). If I were back home, I’d be receiving a new certificate, and sticker for my book, as well as a round of applause. I may need to tell my husband to buy me some flowers instead. This morning I also measured myself, which is something I’ve not done before. So while I don’t know what I’ve already lost I am interested to see these numbers go down as well. So here we go: Chest 45″ Waist 43″ Hips 51″ Upper arm 16″ Thigh 27″ I’ll measure again at the beginning of March.

I also took my official ‘before’ photo’s. I don’t have any from right at the very beginning, and even if I did, I wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing those ones online. But I am with these:

I’ll be joining a gym on Thursday which I am super excited about, its only a 5 minute walk from our apartment, and its a ladies only gym. I did want to join a little while ago, but I didn’t have the confidence. Well that’s changed now. I’m looking forward to start running again, the last time I was a gym member I was able to run for 10 minutes straight. Which might not seem like a lot to some people, but that was a huge achievement for me, and I’m pleased I’ll be able to get back there, and then some. I’ve seen a 5k foam fun run advertised on my Facebook http://www.5kfoamfest.ca/ quite a bit recently, and I mentioned it to Gilbert (the Husband) because I thought it was something he’d be interested in. He asked me if I wanted to do it together. Together? I thought, what a ridiculous idea, I can’t run 5k, let alone with obsticles. But then I started thinking, well why not? We’ve got a little while to go. I could train up. So that’s my goal. 5k. I’m scared. But a good kind of scared. Wish me luck! I’ll check in with you all again soon. Right now I’m going to have my breakfast, and then, if it doesn’t start raining, I’m going out for a walk up the mountain.

Much love! Bye xx